Hints, Allegations, and Things Unsaid

13 Jan

I hear a lot of commercials for podcasts, but the phrase “Be the plant-strong person you were meant to be” stuck in my head. We resolve to be better people, but I’ve been wondering lately, even if we succeed, what do we gain?

In the end, we all want to feel better. For example, I need to lose weight. I know exactly what I can do to lose weight. I also know that my body will plateau twenty pounds lighter and will not move, despite how strict I keep to my diet. That means I will still be fifty pounds overweight at best. Why am I denying myself joy if the end result is only fractionally better?

For me, if I could get down to my high school senior year weight of 180 (at the edge of healthy BMI and I look lanky even then), then I would feel like it would be worth it. I would look good, be able to get results from exercise, and wear thinner clothes. But that’s not the end result–the end result is slightly slimmer, slightly better, and denying myself joy through food and drink.

I guess that I have to question whether or not something brings me joy (now I’m sounding like Marie Condo). My wife has been on my case for my drinking habits, and I’ve resolved not to drink around the house, but only when I go to the bar. I’ll admit, that did help–I certainly wasn’t getting any benefit from being day drunk. At first, it was to fight the boredom, and now, I don’t really need that anymore. Not that I’m not still bored, but I realized that I wasn’t getting joy from that alternative.

The main problem I face is that–in the end–my life will still be roughly the same. Whether I’m fatter or thinner doesn’t improve or decrease my life experience. I’m still a middle-aged semi-bald man working from home with a wife and two kids. I’m not about to hit the dating scene, I’m not run a marathon, or ride in a century race.

However, improving my relationships will improve my life. My wife and I have agreed to write a list of things we like to do separately and together. I always try to do things my kids want to do, and I often drag them to do stuff I want to do. I should invite more people to Friday dinner. If I want better friendships, I should be willing to do more for people. That seems like a better resolution and something that will actually improve my life.

There’s a reason why when we get older, we make less resolutions. But I think this is a good one: make better relationships. What do you think? Have you got a better resolution? A simpler one? What works for you? Let me know in the comments below!

One Response to “Hints, Allegations, and Things Unsaid”

  1. Silk Cords January 13, 2021 at 9:40 am #

    First, let me lead in by say that if you (or anybody) is only going to make one resolution, you’d be VERY hard pressed to do better than “better relationships”. 🙂

    I was going to go on a bit of an extended pep talk here, BUT I was planning something similar for my own blog, sharing recent personal experiences. LONG story short, the benefits are there, sometimes they’re just harder to see and take a little mental reframing to appreciate.

    As far as diets go… They never work. Your metabolism adjusts to them. The best diet advice I found was in a book called “The Slow Down Diet”. The premise being that if you slow down your meals and savor your food more, you’ll more readily distinguish good stuff from bad, and will be full before you realize it. It works too. Try slowly chewing a McDonalds burger or breakfast sandwich and see if you don’t gag, LOL.

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