Tag Archives: pictures

Burke and Elmo are Stalking Me

19 Oct

So yesterday, I wrote a post about how James Burke really changed the way I looked at history, so I had to download a picture of him to explain who he is. Now his picture is hiding out in my picture folder, staring at me, looking at me like I owe him something.

I should be doing something to promote my book, but instead, I’ve got this science reporter staring at me. I feel like James Burke is saying, “Why aren’t you trying to figure out how to drain copper mines in Cornwall?” Well, James, I don’t live in the 18th Century, nor do I work as a handyman at the University of Edinburgh. He’d probably reply, “Not everything is the steam engine,” and I’d agree, and tell him I’ve got fifteen other things to do today. So he keeps staring at me.

Also, Elmo, God of the Ocean is wondering when he’s gonna come out of his electronic hibernation. “Sorry, Elmo, I found your cool picture, but haven’t found a post to go along with it.” So he’d say (in that high pitched voice), “Silence, mortal! You will find room in your blog post for me. Ha ha ha!”

Okay, Elmo, you win. May this electronic sacrifice be pleasing to you on Mount Sesame. Oooh, Sesame Street meets Clash of the Titans. That might be the weirdest damn fan-fiction ever. No… wait, no it won’t. I’ve read Star Wars meets My Little Pony sex fic – nothing beats that. (blink) And now I’m got that image in your head. 🙂

A picture of Conan the Barbarian’s father always has something wise to say, but he’s telling me to teach my son about the Riddle of Steel. I tell him, “I’ve got this picture of him with a sword. Does that work?” Conan’s father looks annoyed. Then again, he never -not- looks annoyed, so… win?

Gee – I really didn’t have anything to talk about today! I must be running out of the topics I’ve been writing down to… well, write down in my blog. I guess I’m a little gunshy after the “controversy” I got over “furbabies.” What topics would you like me to cover? Let me know in the comments below!

Making Breakfast Sexy

30 Jul

As a mortal, I sometimes weaken in the face of fast food. So a couple days ago, I went to a McDonalds to order something terrible for me, and as I waited for my food, I watched the menu screen. Apparently, corporate thinks that simply having you in the store is not enough, on the menu they have to show… what I can only describe as “food porn.”

Clever reveals, black background, slow zooms – I have to admit that it’s incredibly good video. Video… not just good pictures, slow, sensuous shots of pouring coffee. I can’t describe how… sexy it was pouring black liquid into a cup for five seconds.

Look at this shot – soft lighting, perfect focus. You know that they probably use some glossy liquid instead of syrup because it shines better. Steam probably recorded over several minutes to get the best cycling image. I know half this stuff tastes awful to me and I can’t help but have my mouth water.

Mickey D’s is by no means the only user of these techniques. Open the menu at any chain restaurant (IHOP, Denny’s) and you’ll see the same images, although usually with white backgrounds, which inspires you to be happy about your selection.

Just like the grocery store, the more expensive selections will be at the top of the menu, cheaper ones won’t have a picture and be placed lower. Next time you go cereal shopping, check out the difference between the brand name corn flakes and the generic – you want to make love to the brand name, don’t you?

It obviously works, but it’s disturbing once you notice it. What marketing have you noticed that “once it is seen, it cannot be unseen?” Tell me in the comments below!

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