Tag Archives: rock

Affirmation Rock

5 Oct

You want a catchy tune to rock out to. But you’re tired of writing about love – which is a problem, because that’s the subject of 75% of modern songs. So what subject do you write your lyrics to?

“Affirmation rock” is a term coined by comedian Adam Carolla, but rather rehash his rant on this subject, I’ve realized there’s actually several sub-genres of music subjects that fall under the “not love” category.

1 – Affirmation Rock

This term is used to indicate the music that is specifically designed to appeal to pre-teens who haven’t hit puberty, so talkin’ about love ain’t gonna fly. “I’m gonna rock hard / I’m gonna jump straight / nothin’ standing in my way!” Rhianna’s “Diamonds in the Sky” is the perfect example of this. “You’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky.” There might be more lyrics than this, but that’s really the whole song repeated ad infinitem.

2 – Nonsense Rock

I actually rather like this one. System of a Down does this for almost ALL their songs. For example, I love their song “Chop Suey,” which has the advantage of being one of those songs where the title has nothing to do with the song. But I rock out hard to the chorus:

Trust in my self-righteous suicide /
I cry when angels deserve to die.

It makes no freaking sense! Or the similar beginning to their other popular song, “Song 2:”

I got my head shaved by a jumbo jet /
It wasn’t easy / but nothing is. No.

3 – Liquor Rock

This is the subgenre usually used by country artists. Liquor, and especially beer, plays a big role in this type of music. As the old joke goes, “Alcohol – the cause of and the solution to all life’s problems.” For example, the classic Garth Brooks song is:

Well, I got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away
And I’ll be okay
Oh, I’m not big on social graces,
Better slip on down to the Oasis.
Oh, I’ve got friends in low places!

4 – God Rock

Now this is a bit of fudge because you can often use the same lyrics to a love song and make it about God. However, there is plenty of Contemporary Christian Rock (CCR) about moral issues that has nothing to do with love. And praise is a close cousin to love, but not in the same nuclear family. I say “god rock” rather than “Christian rock,” because other religions are doin’ it for their peeps as well. There are two great acapella bands in New York called the Maccabeats and 613 which do exclusively Jewish holiday songs, usually parodies of other popular songs. For example, check out this Hamilton parody set to Hanukkah:

5 – Depression Rock

Usually this is the domain of Country and Blues music, but it bleeds into other genres. I know Nickelback gets a lot of shade, but I love the song “Someday:”

Someday, somehow, gonna make all right but not right now
I know you’re wondering when.

SIDEBAR: I also like this because the first time heard it was in a strip club. I don’t even like strip clubs. Sure, I like naked women, but look not touch has limited appeal in a 24/7 porn available world. But what appealed to me was not the stripping, it was A) an unusual song to strip to and B) after the stripping, the woman carefully clutching her clothes and money to her chest, looking very vulnerable… that was FAR more sexy.

What sub-genres did I miss? Should I left out the story about Nickelback? Let me know in the comments section below!

When Lazy Preppers Garden – Part 2

4 Jul

So first thing we had to do was remove the two dwarf palm trees that were planted in the back yard and move them to the front yard. Easier said than done. There was a lot of rock that had to dug out of the way first. Generally you put rock down on top of soil in Arizona to protect it from the sun. Except that our house is 47 years old… which means multiple owners have put down layers of rock to protect their yard over the decades, so there was up to six inches of loose rock that had to come up first. Oh… and sometimes the original construction company just left giant blocks of concrete out of the way.

Then we had to actually extract the dwarf palms out of the ground. Easier said than done. We had to do this in two stages, Thursday night, when the sun had just gone done but was still 102 degrees outside, and Friday morning, when the temperature was only 85, but the sun was coming over the buildings to shine on us (and raise the temp).

So I’m sweating buckets as take out an entire wheelbarrow full of loose rock to the front of the house (where thankfully, two wet holes are already dug for the palms), and slowly… SLOWLY… dig out the two plants. They had so many frickin’ roots that were all over. Oh, and we had to find and dig around all the gorram irrigation lines and what I hope was the regular water line and the fence with the crabby ol’ neighbor and… sigh, it was frustrating.

However, mission accomplished… well, the first palm came out, and when we realized it was almost 8 pm, we figured… eh, this can wait until tomorrow. So we sweated and heaved again and the second one out. NOW, have two good sized holes to use as our first sunken garden beds. Now just 80 more square feet to dig up… ugh.

So what home improvement project did your spouse/significant other convince you to dump a lot of time in? Share it in the comments below!

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