Drew Carey once joked: “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called everybody, and they meet at the bar.” Is booze the solution? No, but when you’re caught in a situation you can’t get out of, it helps ease the transition.
As I’ve talked about many times on this blog, I’m a big fan of the local bar. Once you find one that you like–which is not easy–it’s a great comfort. An extended living room. A place to have friends you’d never want to invite to your house. But more importantly, it gets you away from your life for a little while.
Why I bring this up is because on Sunday morning, my wife says, “Hey, why don’t you come with me to the Home Depot.” Okay, this wasn’t part of my initial plan for the day, so my initial thought is one of annoyance, but I accept it and try to turn it into a chance to hang out with my wife, flirt. Initially, that works. Then God forbid I buy multiple copies of some tools that we invariably lose all the freaking time, and all my goodwill I’ve built in those few minutes evaporates. Great.
My wife and I are going to start counseling again because frankly, this is a bad situation. She’s pissed at me, I’m pissed at her; but frankly, that’s any marriage. You hit points where you’re better together and points you are not. I’ve picked up more chores, she says, “Why weren’t you doing that before?!” I just feel like she’s been in a high stress situation for a couple years and half of it IS HER OWN DAMN FAULT. Gee, you take an extra class AND a teaching assistantship on top of that and you complain you don’t have enough time in the day. How could that have possibly happened?! (rolling eyes)
So both of us have thought during our 15-year marriage, “Gee, why don’t we just divorce if we don’t like being together anymore?” The last time was last summer. The answer–we can’t afford to. My wife doesn’t have a regular job; she’s a grad student. Even if we both did, there’s still the kids. Both of us wants them to have a stable, happy home. My wife also doesn’t trust me to raise the kids under a joint custody agreement, and from all modern accounts, that’s exactly what’s going to happen.
Mind you, things got better since then, but I still think she would be a lot happier if she chose to get out of the house more often. She has the choice; she has an office she can go to, I don’t (at present), but there’s few other people there. And without other people present, it’s just a pain-in-the-butt to get to in order to the do the same thing…
…but it gets you out of the house. I’ve been attending my local bar on a regular basis throughout this pandemic and it’s made things a lot easier to get through. I’ve also been attending there because the wife doesn’t want me to drink in the house. After all, if she can’t drink without messing up her system, then it must be the same for everyone, right?! (sigh)
But if I can’t leave my marriage, and my attempts to fix things aren’t working, then what else can you do but drink? Before I get into a diatribe you don’t have the context for, I’ll just ask what you think? What did you do in this situation? Let me know in the comments below! Then check out one of my books; they aren’t as depressing However, if $1.99 is too steep for your wallet, go ahead and download one of my stories for free. You’ll be glad you did.
Albigensia Press 
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