Traveling to Tucson

Despite posts to the contrary, I do get out of the house on a frequent basis, but I rarely get out of town. So when I get the opportunity to go see a friend down in Tucson, I took some days off from work and did it, despite my misgivings.

For those not in the know, the drive from Phoenix to Tucson can take anywhere from an hour and a half to two and a half hours, depending on where you want to go in the metropolis… and how willing you are to speed. There is a whole stretch of nothing, so apart from the obligatory speed traps, it’s really a close drive.

So I have to ask myself–why do I only see my friend twice a year if he’s that close? Well, the first is because I’m a family man, with responsibilities at home. Although I can easily demand that I have a couple hours off one evening, I can’t demand a whole day trip without seriously inconveniencing my wife and kids.

The second is… my friend’s a bit agoraphobic. That’s the best term I can give. He won’t drive up to Phoenix to see me because a) my car’s not working well, b) my cat’s sick, or c) some other BS reason. It’s very hard to nail him down to a time/date to hang out. Even when I offer to come down to see him, there’s a chance he’ll bail on me for some excuse which would sound reasonable from another person, but sounds lame after hearing variations on it over the years.

So you might ask, why do I bother going to see him? Well, it IS only twice a year, but more importantly, I don’t have that many close friends. My friend in Tucson met me in college, we were friends, we were dorm roommates, we were roommates after we left school… we know each other pretty well. It’s very hard to maintain that kind of relationship. So I value these relationships as I have very few of them left.

I’ve found that it’s harder to make friends the older you get. I’ve been blessed with the fact that I am able to make a couple… but only a couple. I certainly get stuck in my ways, and it’s a lot more difficult to be flexible to a new personality, when you’ve already put up with the crap before.

However, the longer you know someone, the more of their crap you’re willing to take because you know them so well. (See marriage.) You realize that someone being crabby with you is not to be taken personally. And, just like any relationship, you get comfortable with them being around and accept them, regardless of their eccentricities. Because after all, they put up with you, right? 🙂

So how do you deal with old friends that really make it hard to maintain a relationship with? Let me know in the comments below! Then if you want a relationship with me, get out one of my books. I guarantee my old friends have never read my writing, despite me throwing them free copies. However, if $1.99 is too steep for a new relationship, go ahead and download one of my stories for free. Then we’ll have something to talk about.