My Superpower is Lame

My superpower sucks. I pass street lights and they dim slightly as I pass by. It’s not that exciting, and it’s also not consistent. I can’t even focus my superpower and make it happen on demand. It’s time to take my power and reach my true potential.

Imagine what I could do with this power if extended to the Nth degree. I could suck electricity from the grid and then shock people with it. Blow up things with several thousand volts. It’ll be pretty cool.

If comic books have taught me nothing, it’s that I must have a sensei. A mentor with equally badass power who can drive me to my full potential. The problem is I need to show a glimmer of hope in my superpower before I can draw his attention. So if I can start sparking people other than rubbing my feet on the carpet, that might be a good start.

The weakness to this superpower is that I can’t wear a watch. I already seem to drain the watch battery faster than most. It’s weird. I fear that as I reach my true potential, I’ll have to stop wearing my phone near me (or give it up at all) because I’ll have it suddenly explode in a flurry of sparks. Probably have to give up being online at all… not that that is a terrible loss. I figure if I have to give up my work-at-home gig, I can rob banks with my frightening destructive power. That should keep me going for a while. I would miss television, but there are plenty of books.

I could find a manual typewriter and still write books. Maybe hire someone with my ill gotten gains to keep running my online press… who knows? And of course, I’d get away with it because who would believe lightning coming out of someone’s hands! Might have to wear gloves to avoid accidentally zapping folks, but I figure that would be part of my training.

Anyone know a mystic sensei that could put me on the path to wealth and power? A supervillain I can be a powerful henchmen for? An apprenticeship for mutants? Let me know in the comments below!